3 Years.
On March 11, 2019 by Michelle LoveThree years ago today, we gathered to celebrate your life. I don’t remember much about that day, except that I decided that morning I would gather every bit of courage I had and speak to the hundreds of friends that came to honor you. I remember following the Medic ambulance escorting us back to Lincoln Read More
Happy 18th birthday BJ…in Heaven
On March 4, 2019 by Michelle Love18 years ago today, on March 4, 2001 you changed my life. When they placed you on my chest and you looked deep into my eyes, you stole my breath and captured my heart. Because in that very moment, I suddenly knew exactly what unconditional love was. I felt it from you as I gazed Read More
Football Jersey Retirement
On February 2, 2019 by Michelle LoveThank you to everyone who made last night so special. Thank you to NLHS and Mitch Sherrill for pulling this together and making a beautiful display. It was the perfect night to have the hanging presentation – as BJ’s friends were on both sides of the gym. Thank you to Rose Barrick for speaking, and to Matthew Read More
T-shirt designs, heartbreaks and memories
On January 11, 2019 by Michelle LoveDuring November, we hosted a t-shirt design contest with the young patients at Levine Children’s Hospital Pediatric Hematology and Oncology Center. The assignment was to draw what cancer, cancer fighter/warrior meant to them. Participants were given a $5 gift card to Chic-fil-a, and we had 23 participants. There was a ‘drawing station’ set up in the Read More
Signs at the Shore
On December 31, 2018 by Michelle LoveEach morning when I came down to the shore this bird is standing here. Just this lone bird. I can’t help but think about how BJ would fish in the surf all day long and into the night. He was so happy when he was fishing. It didn’t really matter where, but he sure loved Read More
So Heavy
On November 28, 2018 by Michelle LoveI’ve been feeling very weighed down lately… just feels like I’m carrying the weight of a thousand worlds sometimes. Then I read something I wrote, like this from three years ago and, I feel a wave of panic wash over me. I’m right back there by his side, watching him suffer, holding his hand, mustering Read More
Did this really happen?!
On November 17, 2018 by Michelle LoveI wrote this 3 years ago today. Seems so surreal. *******While not mentally alert, BJ realizes it, and it upsets him. He can take the physical pain, but when it extends to his mind, that just reaches too far. What breaks my heart is when he looks at me through tears and reaches out his Read More
CART-19 = Pure Hell
On November 5, 2018 by Michelle LoveOn this day November 5, 2015, BJ received his 200,000 modified T-cells as part of the CART-19 clinical trial at Duke. That day was the beginning of a horrible ending…but we were so hopeful that it was his cure. We were naively excited. It was pure hell. 106 degree fevers for days on end, delusions Read More
Duke memories
On November 2, 2018 by Michelle LoveFrom this day, November 2, 2015…we had been at Duke for several days with BJ being on the CART-19 clinical trial. We were staying at the Ronald McDonald House in Durham until his body started reacting to the treatment and he was admitted. It was some of the worst days and there were some very Read More
Christmas 2017
On December 25, 2017 by Michelle LoveChristmas morning, still in our pajamas, visiting the one we both miss so much. Read More
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