Happy 16th birthday BJ
On March 4, 2017 by Michelle Love“I love you more than anything!” “Come give me one more hug” “Mom…” “I’m scared. I don’t want to leave you and Carly.” “Get this thing off me, I can’t breathe!”…. The sound of silence. I miss your voice and your hugs and our talks and watching you play football and basketball. I miss tucking Read More
So tired
On February 28, 2017 by Michelle LoveEver have those dreams that rip you from sleep when you hear a call out “Mom!”? …. Not knowing if it was real or if your mind was playing cruel tricks again in the middle of the night. I’m just so. Tired. Read More
A year at home
On February 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveA year ago today we left our “home away from home” (Levine Children’s Hospital), and were transported home. We were blessed with another 15 days together. We’re still fighting, BJ….we will never stop. I miss you so much. A year ago: Saturday, February 20, 2016 After 90 consecutive days in the hospital, we will be Read More
Mom…I don’t want to leave you
On February 29, 2016 by Michelle LoveSunday, February 28, 2016 BJ has been doing pretty well. There are a lot of raw emotions of course, and the tears just come at the slightest thing. He’s not ready to ‘go’. He doesn’t want to leave us. He’s not finished fighting. Even with Friday’s labs showing a rising white blood cell count, Read More
Neuropathy – Friday, December 18, 2015…29th day in the hospital
On December 19, 2015 by Michelle LoveFriday, December 18, 2015…29th day in the hospital BJ is still struggling with nerve pain in his feet. The lidocaine patches worked for a while and he was able to sleep for a few hours, but after the medicine wore off, his pain was back. The second set of patches didn’t work as well. He Read More
Wednesday (Day 34 post CART cell infusion…20th day in the hospital)
On December 9, 2015 by Michelle LoveWednesday (Day 34 post CART cell infusion…20th day in the hospital) BJ was moved to Levine Children’s Hospital in Charlotte today. His white blood cell count was 115k this morning at Duke. By the time that we arrived at Levine, it had risen to 150k. He was started on steroids to decrease his WBC so Read More
I love you more than anything
On December 8, 2015 by Michelle LoveJust to document this moment…. BJ laying here, just called out “Mom”… I leaned over him and said “Yes baby?”… He said “I love you”. Read More
Quiet is the loudest time
On September 16, 2015 by Michelle LoveI really should be asleep but it’s nighttime.. and it’s quiet.. and this is when I hear all of thoughts in my head the loudest. This is when I feel the magnitude of the aching in my heart. The past 2 days have been exciting and scary and overwhelming and everything in between…and I’m just…exhausted Read More
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