Lincoln Times-News article ….by Michelle Bernard
On September 27, 2017 by Michelle LoveI spent an hour of Michelle Bernard’s time on the phone on Monday, Sept. 25. I told her most of our story, crying through most of the hour’s discussion. I felt like she understood the hell that we went through, that BJ went through – at least some of it. She really did a great
The Gap by Michael Crenlinsten
On September 6, 2017 by Michelle LoveThe gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact, can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed, what they bear. Our child now comes to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal, every kid on
Going to the grave in my PJs
On May 9, 2017 by Michelle LoveI’ve been having some rough days. Saturday was particularly bad. I went to his grave that morning in my pajamas with my dogs. I just wanted to be there. I know he’s not there, really, but sometimes I just have to go and stay for a while. I cried and cried, and again, for the millionth
One year since I laid my eyes on him
On March 11, 2017 by Michelle LoveOne year ago today, I looked upon my son one last time before his casket was closed. We celebrated the amazingly inspiring young man that he had become, and it was a beautiful service. We followed behind as they drove him to where he would be lowered into the ground, and watched as 4 of
Happy 16th birthday BJ
On March 4, 2017 by Michelle Love“I love you more than anything!” “Come give me one more hug” “Mom…” “I’m scared. I don’t want to leave you and Carly.” “Get this thing off me, I can’t breathe!”…. The sound of silence. I miss your voice and your hugs and our talks and watching you play football and basketball. I miss tucking
So tired
On February 28, 2017 by Michelle LoveEver have those dreams that rip you from sleep when you hear a call out “Mom!”? …. Not knowing if it was real or if your mind was playing cruel tricks again in the middle of the night. I’m just so. Tired.
What do you do
On December 5, 2015 by Michelle LoveWhat do you do … …when your son, with shaky, trembling hands, writes a question on his white board… Is everything ok? …when he looks deep into your eyes, knowing that you’re not telling the truth, so he writes… Are you sure? …when he reaches out both arms, as steady as he can, wanting your
Promises and Defeat
On November 12, 2015 by Michelle LoveSo disappointed when I saw what time it is…laying here awake since 0220. It was a rough day yesterday here at Duke. I just really felt defeated after hearing about Elijah’s death and that Simon wasn’t doing well. I had to tell BJ about Simon and Elijah. It was even harder when I saw that
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