6 month cycles
On November 27, 2017 by Michelle LoveTwo years since this photo was taken….so hard to believe.  The hardest time of the year for me is September through March, then I spend the next 6 months recovering, just to go back into the same cycle. So many especially ‘crapaversaries’ (as another angel-mom friend puts it) happen during these 6 months. BJ’s
The Gap by Michael Crenlinsten
On September 6, 2017 by Michelle LoveThe gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact, can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed, what they bear. Our child now comes to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal, every kid on
Kinder mourn
On July 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveMany people have offered their advice over the past few years. Much of that advice was suggestions to see a grief counselor. I’m not against I had an appointment today at Kinder-mourn. The appointment was made out of shear desperation. Days on end of churning at the bottom of an ocean of grief after a
The Cliff
On July 16, 2017 by Michelle LoveImagine… You tread up a hill and see a loved one sitting on the edge of a cliff, with her back to you. You see her sitting there doing nothing. She won’t talk, and she won’t stand up. She hardly acknowledges your presence. She hides her face from you. You stand behind her and say
Relapse.
On May 22, 2017 by Michelle LoveMay 22, 2015 changed us. BJ’s leukemia was back. It had never really left. Like the coward it is, it mutated and hid until it had enough numbers to show itself. It was a direct blow to the future we planned and sparked a battle like none other before it. It turned us into raging
My Place
On April 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveIt was a perfect day here yesterday. The beach used to be my place to come to start fresh, to reset and get grounded again. Carly and I escaped to Ocean Isle Beach for a couple of days. Both of us are beach-people, but we have had a hard time being there without BJ. We’ve
The insanity of it all
On April 13, 2017 by Michelle LoveWhoever penned this really captured the insanity of grief after losing your child. #morethan4 #BJStrong
Happy 16th birthday BJ
On March 4, 2017 by Michelle Love“I love you more than anything!” “Come give me one more hug” “Mom…” “I’m scared. I don’t want to leave you and Carly.” “Get this thing off me, I can’t breathe!”…. The sound of silence. I miss your voice and your hugs and our talks and watching you play football and basketball. I miss tucking
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