6 month cycles
On November 27, 2017 by Michelle LoveTwo years since this photo was taken….so hard to believe. The hardest time of the year for me is September through March, then I spend the next 6 months recovering, just to go back into the same cycle. So many especially ‘crapaversaries’ (as another angel-mom friend puts it) happen during these 6 months. BJ’s
Lincoln Times-News article ….by Michelle Bernard
On September 27, 2017 by Michelle LoveI spent an hour of Michelle Bernard’s time on the phone on Monday, Sept. 25. I told her most of our story, crying through most of the hour’s discussion. I felt like she understood the hell that we went through, that BJ went through – at least some of it. She really did a great
The Gap by Michael Crenlinsten
On September 6, 2017 by Michelle LoveThe gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact, can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed, what they bear. Our child now comes to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal, every kid on
Another Sunday
On August 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveDidn’t sleep well again. Finally gave into the restlessness and opened my eyes to see 4am, yet again. Xanax couldn’t even keep my mind quiet last night. As usual, I read from my phone until my eyes are too heavy to stay open. As the time ticked by, the torture going on in my own
The Cliff
On July 16, 2017 by Michelle LoveImagine… You tread up a hill and see a loved one sitting on the edge of a cliff, with her back to you. You see her sitting there doing nothing. She won’t talk, and she won’t stand up. She hardly acknowledges your presence. She hides her face from you. You stand behind her and say
Relapse.
On May 22, 2017 by Michelle LoveMay 22, 2015 changed us. BJ’s leukemia was back. It had never really left. Like the coward it is, it mutated and hid until it had enough numbers to show itself. It was a direct blow to the future we planned and sparked a battle like none other before it. It turned us into raging
Going to the grave in my PJs
On May 9, 2017 by Michelle LoveI’ve been having some rough days. Saturday was particularly bad. I went to his grave that morning in my pajamas with my dogs. I just wanted to be there. I know he’s not there, really, but sometimes I just have to go and stay for a while. I cried and cried, and again, for the millionth
The insanity of it all
On April 13, 2017 by Michelle LoveWhoever penned this really captured the insanity of grief after losing your child. #morethan4 #BJStrong
These Shoes
On April 8, 2017 by Michelle LoveThese shoes. #toomanywalkingintheseshoes#morethan4 #childhoodcancerawareness#heavygrief
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