6 month cycles
On November 27, 2017 by Michelle LoveTwo years since this photo was taken….so hard to believe. The hardest time of the year for me is September through March, then I spend the next 6 months recovering, just to go back into the same cycle. So many especially ‘crapaversaries’ (as another angel-mom friend puts it) happen during these 6 months. BJ’s
Lincoln Times-News article ….by Michelle Bernard
On September 27, 2017 by Michelle LoveI spent an hour of Michelle Bernard’s time on the phone on Monday, Sept. 25. I told her most of our story, crying through most of the hour’s discussion. I felt like she understood the hell that we went through, that BJ went through – at least some of it. She really did a great
18 months and the war continues
On September 7, 2017 by Michelle LoveBJ left us 18 months ago. I really never thought that I would have had to be here without him for this long. (Read whatever you want into that.) It’s been hell. There have been some good days sprinkled in over the past 18 months, but this grief overshadows everything. I’ve been happy at times,
The Gap by Michael Crenlinsten
On September 6, 2017 by Michelle LoveThe gap between those who have lost children and those who have not is profoundly difficult to bridge. No one, whose children are well and intact, can be expected to understand what parents who have lost children have absorbed, what they bear. Our child now comes to us through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal, every kid on
Rainbow promises
On August 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveGetting ready to leave the house for an appointment earlier, I looked outside to see if the rain had stopped. The sun was shining but it was still raining. I told Carly that there had to be a rainbow, so I went out the front door to look. Sun, rain but no rainbow. I went to the back
Kinder mourn
On July 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveMany people have offered their advice over the past few years. Much of that advice was suggestions to see a grief counselor. I’m not against I had an appointment today at Kinder-mourn. The appointment was made out of shear desperation. Days on end of churning at the bottom of an ocean of grief after a
The Cliff
On July 16, 2017 by Michelle LoveImagine… You tread up a hill and see a loved one sitting on the edge of a cliff, with her back to you. You see her sitting there doing nothing. She won’t talk, and she won’t stand up. She hardly acknowledges your presence. She hides her face from you. You stand behind her and say
Going to the grave in my PJs
On May 9, 2017 by Michelle LoveI’ve been having some rough days. Saturday was particularly bad. I went to his grave that morning in my pajamas with my dogs. I just wanted to be there. I know he’s not there, really, but sometimes I just have to go and stay for a while. I cried and cried, and again, for the millionth
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