Another Sunday
On August 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveDidn’t sleep well again. Finally gave into the restlessness and opened my eyes to see 4am, yet again. Xanax couldn’t even keep my mind quiet last night. As usual, I read from my phone until my eyes are too heavy to stay open. As the time ticked by, the torture going on in my own
Kinder mourn
On July 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveMany people have offered their advice over the past few years. Much of that advice was suggestions to see a grief counselor. I’m not against I had an appointment today at Kinder-mourn. The appointment was made out of shear desperation. Days on end of churning at the bottom of an ocean of grief after a
The Cliff
On July 16, 2017 by Michelle LoveImagine… You tread up a hill and see a loved one sitting on the edge of a cliff, with her back to you. You see her sitting there doing nothing. She won’t talk, and she won’t stand up. She hardly acknowledges your presence. She hides her face from you. You stand behind her and say
The Night Before Camp
On June 19, 2017 by Michelle LoveCarly is leaving for Camp CARE tomorrow morning. It’s her 2nd year going without BJ. I want her to have a good time this year. She was able to be placed in the older girls’ cabin, and will be in the same cabin with Zoe. This was important to me, because I felt that Zoe
Relapse.
On May 22, 2017 by Michelle LoveMay 22, 2015 changed us. BJ’s leukemia was back. It had never really left. Like the coward it is, it mutated and hid until it had enough numbers to show itself. It was a direct blow to the future we planned and sparked a battle like none other before it. It turned us into raging
Going to the grave in my PJs
On May 9, 2017 by Michelle LoveI’ve been having some rough days. Saturday was particularly bad. I went to his grave that morning in my pajamas with my dogs. I just wanted to be there. I know he’s not there, really, but sometimes I just have to go and stay for a while. I cried and cried, and again, for the millionth
NEGU Canvas gift in memory of my son
On May 3, 2017 by Michelle LoveWe were so excited about the arrival of this precious gift from NEGU (Never Ever Give Up!) yesterday. It took quite a while for us to decide on 27 words to describe BJ and then a couple weeks for the artist to create the 30“x30“ canvas. Lots of love went into picking each word. #BJStrong #CureForBJRound2
My Place
On April 20, 2017 by Michelle LoveIt was a perfect day here yesterday. The beach used to be my place to come to start fresh, to reset and get grounded again. Carly and I escaped to Ocean Isle Beach for a couple of days. Both of us are beach-people, but we have had a hard time being there without BJ. We’ve
The insanity of it all
On April 13, 2017 by Michelle LoveWhoever penned this really captured the insanity of grief after losing your child. #morethan4 #BJStrong
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