Childhood Cancer . Grief . Lifesource . Memories

Relapse date 4 years ago

On May 22, 2019 by

May 22, 2015…the day that knocked all of us off our feet. I will never forget the screams in the car after we left the clinic and that phone call came as we were headed home. I will never forget the look in his eyes or the pounding of his fist into the seat between his legs. He was looking so healthy…and we were finally seeing the end of treatments. He had 7 treatments left to finish but… But.

Relapse.

…Nine and a half months, and a brutal hell of a fight, he was gone. Gone.

Really missing your physical presence BJ…and just…so tired.

I’ve been doing very well lately, but the memories that came flooding back have consumed me right now. I’m acknowledging it and will let it have its space, and then I’ll pick myself back up, dust it off, and continue on the path.

May 22, 2015 was just supposed to be another clinic day.
BJ’s Instagram post – we had just arrived at the hospital to restart this fight once more.
May 23, 2015 … Bone Marrow Aspiration and Lumbar Puncture.
My hungry boy looking for a good snack in the 11th floor snack room.
Matt and Carly making BJ feel as normal as he ever was.
Best friends, but mostly brothers.
May 29, 2015 … at the clinic for infusion after the initial hospital stay for relapse.
The anchor for my heart as we dealt with it all.
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I'm a mom with a heart split between my child on earth and my child in heaven.