Uncategorized

First Day of School

On August 24, 2016 by

This was last year’s (2015-16) first day of school pictures. Carly started 5th and BJ was supposed to start 9th grade at North Lincoln High School, but he was too sick and in the hospital. BJ never went back to school after his leukemia relapse on May 22, 2015. That Sunday night before school started was the first and only time in 3 1/2 years that I hadn’t slept beside BJ at the hospital. We were all upset at being apart that night. After not getting much sleep, Carly said that it would be better to sleep at the hospital with BJ and get her to school from Levine, instead of staying at home without him. She didn’t want to be away from BJ and she didn’t want him to not have me there either. I took her to school that morning and went back to the hospital to be with BJ. The rest of the year, my sister friend Cherie, came to get Carly from the hospital if BJ didn’t want, or was too sick for me to leave; or I would meet her halfway if BJ was ok with me being gone for an hour.

Carly was a little nervous the first day because she had to change schools that year. It turned out to be a blessing and she loved the new school. She made a new friend on her first day at Pumpkin Center Intermediate School and that sweet friend and Carly are the best of friends to this day. They will be in the same homebase class when they start the 6th grade on Monday. (Squeals of excitement when she got that news!) It’s a whole new year, with new beginnings, new challenges, new pain and finding our new normal. She’ll be walking the same hallways that BJ did. There are plenty of teachers, staff and students to support her there. And as usual, God’s hand is in all of this…even though it hurts (huge understatement) and we don’t understand His plan. We don’t understand why BJ wasn’t healed, but it doesn’t make God any less “real” to us. Like the song “Thy Will Be Done” says….I have to remember that You are God, and I am not. I know He’s walking each step beside us, and does a whole lot of carrying too. I pray that this year is a good one for Carly, that BJ is always remembered, and that we get through the rest of the “firsts”. #BJStrong

It’s been a long day without you BJ…can’t wait to tell you all about it when I see you again. 

Written by

I'm a mom with a heart split between my child on earth and my child in heaven.